


Spice Fortress: Getting Some Take Out

by Beta_Mat_86



Series: Spice Fortress [2]
Category: Real Person Fiction, S Club 7 (Band), Spice Girls, Team Fortress 2
Genre: Blood and Gore, Cartoon Physics, Comedy, Dark Comedy, Gears of War 2, Gen, Linked Universe (Legend of Zelda), Swearing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-24
Updated: 2020-02-24
Packaged: 2021-02-22 13:40:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 964
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22883908
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Beta_Mat_86/pseuds/Beta_Mat_86
Series: Spice Fortress [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1535231
Comments: 1
Kudos: 1





	Spice Fortress: Getting Some Take Out

While on patrol, looking out for those i-Drones, the squadron was trying to concentrate. Victoria The Medic, Jo The Machinist, Geri the Hacker, and Mel the Drill were back at headquarters as they needed to work on the security fleet. While on a hiking trail, the squadron to make a stop as the heat of the temperature was high to allow them to continue. As they refreshed, the squadron decided to do some sight-seeing, which would let a freakish conflict.

"Any luck over there" Hannah asked.

"Say, get a load of this." Tina said, pointing to a strange sign.

"What's it say?" Emma asks.

"BEWARE OF CUCCO," Tina said, reading it.

"What makes them think we..." (She spots where appears to be a chicken.) "Just a chicken, I'll just shoo it away." Emma said.

"Or... get us chicken soup." Melanie joked.

"Please, how hard can it be? It's just a..." Rachel said.

Just before she can be finished, Emma was violently attacked by the chicken, which turns out to be seriously dangerously large... about the size of a moose.

"Damn it, what fuck?" Emma asks, after she's thrown back, covered in blood.

"Are you fucking kidding me?" Hannah asks.

"Fucking cock!" Emma said.

"Maybe, It's just a fluke." Melanie said.

Melanie looks at the gash on Emma's neck.

"Yeah, still doesn't explain... just we got us some fried chicken tonight." Hannah said.

"Hold ya fire" Tina said.

"Look, how can this shit get any worse." Hannah said.

The same bird chases after Emma, who opted to teach it a lesson.

"Say Em, I would be careful with." Tina said.

"I know that." Emma said.

They witnessed a scene straight from a Monty Python flick.

"Heads up" Rachel said.

"Really" Emma said, as her head landed on a random bush but still alive... thanks to the upgrades she got.

"OH SHIT!" Melanie said.

"Yeah, a random pun... really" Tina said.

Tina looks at the sign, almost like a taunt.

"You have got to be fucking kidding me." Tina said.

It read:

I warned you. I warned you. Nah, you think it was just a chicken.

"Yak, Yak, Yak, Yak" Melanie said.

"Ready for some fried chicken." Hannah said.

The Cucco breathe out fire.

"Two can play that game, you fuck" Hannah said.

"While you ladies are over there, can any of you get my body back. I gotta reattach my head to it." Emma said.

"Sure" Melanie said.

"On it" Tina said.

Melanie and Tina charge into battle with the beast.

"How are you still able to talk without a body?" Hannah asks.

"Fuck that! Victoria and Geri... who else would be a brunch smart-asses to remember to fix that." Rachel said.

"I hope Emma's body can be controlled remotely, apart from being a walking blood fountain." Hannah said.

"It was Geri who forgot to add GPS." Emma said.

"Come on, we got us a job." Rachel said.

The squadron had to battle the giant Cucco, who was just as violent as they didn't expect. Emma... or her head at least, watch from the side as she couldn't move. Without a body, where can one go? Emma's facial expression could easily tell it wasn't going to end well for anyone in the fight as blood and guts were flying like precipitation. Yet, the others just kept going, even telling others if they have seen any of their body parts as calmly as getting a cup of tea. It took time, but the chaos was dealt with... or whatever was left. Luckily, they were able to return to base. Back at home base, the ladies were trying to get back together with Victoria and Jo taking up the magnitude of the surgical operation, while Mel and Geri had the time for a conversation.

"So, like me get this straight, right fucking now. You ladies all had a run into a cock-fight." Mel said.

"What does it look like?" Melanie asks.

Melanie, like the others, was left in pieces while they're getting them fixed.

"I have heard of the attack of the Cucco ground forces before..." Geri said.

"Please," Melanie said.

They were all in the operation room, Emma spoke with Jo and Victoria.

"Jo, I hope you know that's Hannah's left arm and Melanie's right foot." Emma said.

"Sorry, you know I get things mixed up." Jo said.

"Hence why I'm here." Victoria said.

"Any of them got any pain killers?" Geri asks.

"Nope, but we'll need some barf bags." Melanie said.

"Jo, the vein is supposed to go there, and I think that's Tina's left hand." Victoria said.

"I'm a welder, not a surgeon." Jo said.

"I had worse." Tina said.

"Look, at least, we got some chicken stew tonight. Just do a double check cause I think..." Rachel said.

Geri pulls out an eyeball.

"That's mine" Rachel said.

Geri just puts the eye aside.

"Well, you have to keep your eye on something." Geri said.

Geri hands over Jo Rachel's eyeball, so she can place it back.

"You're lucky we still gonna get the troop back together." Mel said.

After a while, Jo and Victoria took care of the result... well, sort of.

"All right..." Jo said.

"At least, you got the bodies back together but we might have to be decapitated again." Hannah said.

"She's right since this is Melanie's." Emma said.

"I got Tina's." Rachel said.

"I think this is yours, Hannah." Tina explains.

"Yeah, that's mines." Hannah said.

"Why? I mean, I... oh" Jo asks.

Jo sees that the bodies were back in their places, but their heads were on the wrong bodies despite they were functioning just fine.

"Oops," Jo said.

"Back to square one" Victoria said.

"We'll save some stew." Geri said.

Mel just looked, rolling her eyes.

Fin


End file.
